20 Comments
User's avatar
Rose Sybil's avatar

Congratulations on your child. It seems very common that women if they find the right guy want children, when they think they did. Birth and motherhood are hard but also beautiful and the contrast adds meaning.

Belle de Jour's avatar

I’m so glad that you enjoyed the post. I definitely feel lucky that everything has gone so well. Interestingly, my future husband first brought up kids when we were dating and I was on board with the idea from the very beginning. I remember asking my mom for advice about it and she basically told me that there is no convenient time to have a child so if you want one just go ahead and do it.

PJ Buys's avatar

Good article. Congratulations on your child.

Just one question, if I may.

Given that you have experienced the joy and meaning of your baby, and seem be to pro Natalist (or at least not anti natalist), how do you square that with being pro choice?

Now that you know the joy and purpose of motherhood, could you conceptualize of Uhm, (I'll try to find the nicest word here) "eliminating" your baby while he or she was growing?

Belle de Jour's avatar

I don’t think that I would ever be able to bring myself to terminate a pregnancy. Having said that, I don’t think that I would able to make that choice for another woman. I do consider myself pro-natalist though. I don’t think those two things have to be mutually exclusive but maybe I’m wrong.

PJ Buys's avatar

Thank you fur your response. Don't stop having babies! They're the greatest blessing God can give in this life.

Copernican's avatar

I saw a video that discussed a metastudy. Specifically, that people aren't having "fewer" children. The ratio of women who have 1 child to 2 children to 3... 4... etc. has remained almost identical since the 1950s. What has changed is that the percentage of women who have 0 children has increased dramatically.

It's not that people simply want fewer kids on average... it's that a significant percentage of the population believes either that they can't have kids, or shouldn't.

Belle de Jour's avatar

This tracks with what I’ve seen anecdotally. I grew up as an only child but I don’t ever remember wishing I had a sibling. I’m very much open to having another child…eventually. It would be nice to have a daughter but I’m not picky!

Willy's avatar

Have a bunch of kids, YOLO!

JMostert's avatar

"I’m really glad my boss is a man. Indeed, I work in STEM, and the majority of people that I work with and in my field in general are men. Of course, things tend to get much shittier when women take them over." - absolutely....

Belle de Jour's avatar

I’m a data analyst and it’s hard to inject ideology into numbers. However, it seems as though journalism, publishing and Hollywood have been completely feminized.

Rose Sybil's avatar

Also impressive you put a career on hold for it.

Belle de Jour's avatar

Thanks. As I said in the post, I still have options. We will see how I feel as things play out. However, I’m pretty satisfied with where I am now.

Douglas E. Dye's avatar

Enlightening, edifying, and entertaining—thank you. Congratutions on the Little One, and Godspeed.

Belle de Jour's avatar

Thanks! I’m so happy that people enjoyed the post.

Mangla_96k's avatar

Giving birth on back is actually unnatural.

Belle de Jour's avatar

I was reclined back a little bit during the delivery. But of course I probably would not be if I was by myself in a field or the woods.

Mangla_96k's avatar

Can't post screenshot here but it's just King Louis XIV who started it in the whenever century.

Most birth complications or pain today is cuz ur supposed to push in a squatting or kneeling position.

https://search.brave.com/search?q=birth+on+back+unnatural&source=web&summary=1&conversation=08b1c6a91589466f46402aab4f9f941f3c2a

Scott Locklin's avatar

>I really do not think that this is a good example.

Me neither. TV isn't real.

Tantalus of Rivia's avatar

Congratulations on your first child! I think motherhood is one of the most meaningful things a human can pursue, and based on my observations of my mother, probably the most rewarding life you could have chosen. Difficult, but worthwhile. Well done!

Belle de Jour's avatar

Thank you! I know that there will be challenges but I really think that the rewards will be worth it.